how to start a conversation

How to Start a Conversation: Easy Tips to Talk to Anyone

Starting conversations isn’t easy but knowing how to do it can help you in almost every circumstance, whether you’re new to making friends or basically reaching out to new colleagues. The main obstacle is usually claiming you don’t know how to.

Luckily, starting a conversation is not a genetic thing, believe it or not. It is a learned social skill, and it can be so simple with a little intentional starting, active listening, and practice. You’ll be more confident with every conversation you have!

Why Do People Avoid Starting Conversations?

There are a lot of different reasons, but the one that stands out to a lot of people is that starting a conversation comes with a lot of risks, especially when the underlying conversation partner can just be judging you through everything you say. So, not starting a conversation is a huge safety measure for a lot of people.

In reality, people aren’t at all that critical, and once you start to direct some of your attention towards opening a conversation by taking interest, being kind, and having curiosity, a lot of the complications of starting a conversation start to subside.

One of the easiest ways to start a conversation is by talking about something you see. This is a simple way to initiate a safe way to start a conversation.

A simple way to start a conversation is by saying, “Of the people here, how do you know everyone?”, “Have you been to this event before?”, “What did you think about the presentation?” “How has your day been?”, “What have you been working on lately?”. All of these questions act as a sort of prompt for conversations to be more natural.

How To Begin Talking To Someone New

Starting a conversation with someone you have never met before can require some finesse, but can be a great way to increase your social skills. To begin a conversation, think of a simple first comment that will be appropriate in the current situation.

For example, if you are waiting in line, you could comment on whatever is going on in the line or ask a simple question. Another example could be asking someone about what they do at work or how they became interested in attending the same event if you are at a work event.

If you want to start asking personal questions, do not do it right away! Use casual discussions to find what areas of the person’s life you can talk about.

Keep Conversations Open

Your first questions should be neutral, but open-ended. A generic question is generally fine for starting a conversation. Some examples of opening questions are:

What do you do in your free time?
What kind of music do you listen to?
Have you watched any interesting movies/tv shows recently?
What are you looking forward to?
What made you decide to come here today?

Comments that are specific to the event or the person in question will be considered good conversation starters.

Good Conversation Topics

To help with ease of starting social interactions, prepare yourself with a few good general topics. A good starting topic can involve anything from your favorite books, movies, shows, food, travel, work, school, hobbies, personal interests, sports, etc.

Pay Attention

People like to talk when they are passionate about a particular topic. If they are talking about a subject and appear excited, continue that subject. This principle is basic, but creates a person’s perception that you are interested, rather than you rehearsing a topic.

Keep A Conversation Fun

Knowing how to start a conversation may be the easy part of social skills. Keeping a conversation going may demand your social skills much more. There is a tendency to spam a series of questions in quick succession without actually saying anything of value to the conversation.

The “Question, Listen, Respond, Share” method is a great technique to use against this tendency. Ask a question, keep attentive to what is being said, respond to what was just said, and in turn share something related to your experience or perspective.

Here’s a hypothetical conversation to illustrate. Someone says they enjoy hiking. You might respond with something along the lines of, “That’s great! I’ve been meaning to go hiking, what’s your favorite spot?” This method not only brings back-and-forth conversation, but avoids scenario in which you are like an interviewer to your interviewee.

How To Start Conversations With Confidence

When you want to learn how to start conversations with confidence, it’s important to have the right mindset as opposed to trying to eliminate the jitters associated with a lack of confidence.

This is because the other person may be feeling the same way, so you may as well be relaxed and make good eye contact and a simple smile. Then speak clearly.

To help you build your confidence, start building up some small interactions. Something like saying hello to a colleague, asking the grocery store check-out cashier how their day is going, and even commenting in some small way at social gatherings.

Improving Your Social Skills

An important part of conversations is active listening and eavesdropping along with keeping an eye on body language. Being empathetic along with it are very important to good conversations as well.

Meeting and interacting with people on a steady basis allows for growth in social skills. Being a good host, offering hospitality, as opposed to badgering people, indicative of the lack of social skills, is appreciated.

If you were wondering, there is a lot more to starting conversations than knowing how to make them impressive.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

When learning how to start conversations don’t beat yourself up. Asking lots of personal questions, interrupting, continuously checking your phone, and talking about yourself to the point of your own embarrassment, are all signs of bad manners. You should work on pause timing, so preoccupying yourself with avoiding moments of social silence should not be a primary concern.

First Impressions

Simple questions and leave the room for the other person’s response. Becoming aware of your surroundings and actively listening will prompt you to speak when you notice other people speaking. However, you must also notice the gaps in other speaking patterns. This will give you the opportunity to respond to what you have heard.

Self-Consciousness

It is normal to feel socially insecure, but in order to increase your social confidence, you have to meet new people regularly in social situations so you are more comfortable with strangers. Have a conversation and listen. This will allow you to appreciate and enjoy talking with people.

Final Thoughts

Communication skills take time to develop, but one can pick it up with time by asking open-ended questions, responding with follow ups or relevant instructions, and listening. Whether you wish to talk to someone new, become more social, or simply talk comfortably to your coworkers, communication skills are easiest to develop one step at a time.

The objective is not to become the most talkative person in the room. It is to become someone who can comfortably listen and help others talking, can be interesting in conversation, and can converse meaningfully.

how to start a conversation